Got That Whey Wrong

, , , , , | Romantic | October 30, 2017

(I am living with my mom, who is renting space from another woman who lives with her son. There has been some fooling around between her son and me periodically, but we’re not a couple. I’ve just run my first marathon and am resting on the couch watching movies, and he’s been texting his friends to hang out. Both of our moms are gone for the night and I’ve just gotten off the phone with my mom, talking about my marathon. This entire conversation takes place while my roommate looks at his phone.)

Roommate: *still texting* “So, how’s your mom?”

Me: “She’s fine. We just talked about my marathon and how sore I currently am. She says I need some protein and they’ll be less painful.”

Roommate: “Yeah, you need some protein. It’ll help you recover faster.”

(He’s currently standing next to the couch and his crotch is right about the same level as my face.)

Roommate: “I’ve got some protein I can give you.”

Me: *confused look* “What?”

Roommate: “Yeah, it won’t take long, and I can make it right here.”

Me: “Uh… I don’t really feel like doing that right now. I’m just really tired and sore.”

Roommate: “Seriously, it won’t take long, and it’s not that much of an inconvenience for me.”

(He finally looks away from his phone and sees my utterly confused face and notices his stance and location.)

Roommate: “Oh, my God. WHEY PROTEIN. I HAVE WHEY PROTEIN POWDER. DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU A WHEY PROTEIN SHAKE WITH MILK?”

Me: *dies laughing as he makes me a shake*

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