Got Them Dead In Your Sights

(We have a database of all of our customers,. Once in a blue moon we get a relative of someone phoning to let us know they’re dead.)

Me: *on phone* “Hello, you’re through to [Opticians]; how can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, you sent a letter to my father telling him he needs a sight test. I’m afraid he’s dead now.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it; he was a moron.”