Got The Birthday Boy Blues

(It’s the night before my 30th birthday, and I’m discussing my plans for the big day with friends. I am female and single.)

Friend #1: “You know; you could do what [Other Friend] did for his birthday.”

Friend #2: “What did he do?”

Me: “Came out of the closet and admitted that his roommate was his boyfriend.”

Friend #3: “Yup, I saw it coming.”

Friend #2: “I don’t think that’s really…”

(I turn very seriously to [Friend #1].)

Me: “Fine. It’s time you know. I LIKE BOYS. I’m never going to like girls. I LOVE BOYS.”

Friend #1: “I KNEW IT!”