Got That Number Lodged In His Brain

(My colleague and I are manning the reception desk at the start of our shift, getting our night-portering duties started. A late check-in walks into the reception and walks to my colleague at the desk.)

Customer: “Lodge 37.”

Colleague: “Checking in?”

Customer: “Yes. Lodge 37.”

Colleague: “What name is the booking under?”

Customer: “It’s for lodge 37.”

Colleague: “Yes, but what name is the booking made under?”

Customer: “The booking is for lodge 37.”

(Note: if you’re wondering if there is a language barrier here, there is not; this guy is completely English, a timeshare customer who comes by twice a year.)

Colleague: *getting a bit desperate now* “I need to know the name the booking was made for before I can check you in.”

Customer: “Why do you need to know? I’m telling you my booking is for lodge 37! That’s all you need to know! LODGE 37! 37!”

(I chip in to help my colleague out.)

Me: “Sir. We cannot check you in or give you any keys until I know you are the individual on our system. Otherwise, anyone could come in and ask to check into any lodge at any time.”

(I do not raise my voice or snap at all during this explanation.)

Customer: “I didn’t ask you! And there’s no need to be rude. You could have just said so. It’s [Customer], for lodge 37.”

(My colleague completes the check-in process and hands over the keys to a lodge, and the customer gives me a filthy look as he heads out of the door. Once he is well out of sight, my colleague and I indulge in a synchronized facepalm before my colleague speaks up.)

Colleague: “You want to know the best part? He’s not in lodge 37. Specifically booked lodge 38.”

Me: “Why didn’t you tell him?”

Colleague: “Did you want to try and tell him that? He was so adamant. It’s written on his keyring; he’ll figure it out. And 37 is empty, anyway, so he’s not going to disturb anyone trying to get in.”

(We never heard from him, so we assume the guy found his lodge without any trouble.)