Got Her Cables Crossed

(I am an assistant manager in the box office of an exhibition space in Times Square. This exhibition space has many investors. One is a popular cable television network from which the space took its name. A relatively normal-looking customer approaches my window.)

Me: “Hello! How can I help you?”

(The customer pauses, looking nervous.)

Me: “Did you have any questions about the exhibit?”

Customer: “Um, yes.”

Me: “Okay… go ahead.”

Customer: “YES! I was wondering why you took away my [aforementioned cable network] channel. I can’t understand why you would do that. My children and I really enjoyed learning about the things that we saw. It was good!”

Me: “Ah, I see. Well, even though [cable network] is our namesake, we’re not at all affiliated with their programming. I’m sorry. I would recommend calling your cable provider to see if there were any changes in your service.”

Customer: “No, but yes, but NO. I can’t understand why you would do this! Because you see it’s my CHILDREN. It was something that we enjoyed TOGETHER.”

Me: “Yeah. I hear ya. Unfortunately, that’s not us. We’re a museum space.”

Customer: “Is this because of Oprah?”

Me: “So, I… what?”

Customer: “OPRAH. I know she was changing some things around.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “I can’t believe you took this away from my children just because Oprah told you to.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you that we have nothing whatsoever to do with Oprah.”

Customer: *turning to leave* “I just can’t believe Oprah would do this to her black brothers and sisters. They were LEARNING.”

Me: “Um, right. You have a great night.”

Customer: *turning and yelling from across the lobby* “So this wasn’t the place?”

Me: “This was not the place.”