Good Thing You’ve Got No Skeletons In Your Closet

, , , , , , | Legal | April 5, 2021

At around 0430 one morning, I woke up because I thought I heard someone knocking on my front door. I waited a few moments, and as there was no further noise, I decided that I must have been dreaming.

However, when I got up about an hour later, I found a card through my door which claimed to be from the police, asking me to contact the station immediately but with no explanation about why.

I phoned the number given on the card, but the operator on the police system had no details about why it had been left and could only make a note that I had called. In the absence of any further information, I decided to shower and get ready for work, so obviously, that was when they called back with an utterly bizarre story.

They had received a report from a mental health charity that someone had phoned them who seemed very unstable and implied that they were going to harm themselves and had already hurt someone else. All the charity’s rep could get out of them was a first name, house number, and postcode. They passed this information to the police and, through some sort of cosmic fluke, the postcode and house number lined up with my address.

The police were pretty sure it was a hoax — hence I didn’t get my door broken down — but did ask to come out and search my house just in case. They arrived about half an hour later and had a quick look around — waking my wife and baby — but left after a quick apology, and that was the last I heard of it. 

So, the long and short of it was I had to go to work and tell my boss that I was late because the police were searching my house for dead bodies. Somehow, I managed to get through the day without Human Resources involvement, but I got some mileage out of that story.

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