Good Men Are Rare
(I am a waitress at a high end chain of worldwide hotels. It is an extremely busy dinner shift. I am serving an obviously rich man, with who appears to be with a new girlfriend.)
Me: “Good evening, sir, madam. Are you ready to order?”
Male Customer: *showing off* “I want a steak, and I want it how the animals eat it. None of this namby-pamby cookery stuff. Just cave-man style, you know?” *he indicates the woman* “Oh, and just fetch her a salad, or something equally low-calorie. I don’t want her all bloated, if you know what I mean!?” *laughs in a creepy way*
Me: “Erm, okay, sir. So, one blue steak and a house salad.”
Male Customer: “That’s what I said wasn’t it? God, do they employ idiots here? And fetch me a bottle of your really good champagne; not the cheap stuff you give to the general public.”
(I have already realized by this point he is going to be a painful customer, and feel sympathetic to his girlfriend, who is clearly embarrassed. I return with the steak and salad, and after his first mouthful I can hear him shouting across the restaurant).
Male Customer: “Are you trying to kill me? Give me Mad Cow disease?”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What appears to be the problem?”
Male Customer: “My steak is bleeding! And cold in the middle! You’re trying to make me ill, and then charge me a ridiculous amount for it!”
Me: “That is a blue steak. Simply lightly seared on the outside, whilst mainly raw in the middle ‘like the animals would have it.’ I assure you it’s perfectly fine to eat!”
Male Customer: “I am a human being, not a dog! My food needs to be cooked! I will take you to court if I get food poisoning!
(Luckily at this point my manager steps in to calm him down, as he is talking about suing the hotel. Later in the bar, I serve the girlfriend who is now alone. She thanks me for opening her eyes to what a jerk he is and tips me £20, and buys me a drink!)
This story is part of the Steak roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
23 Great Stories About Junk Food, And Why It’s Okay To Indulge Once In A While!
Read the next Steak roundup story!
Read the Steak roundup!
Question of the Week
Tell us your story about a customer who couldn't understand the most simple concept.
