We Love You IT Guy!

(There’s an IT guy at our work who is very friendly, but also tends to be very sarcastic. Being kind of a nerd, he just has a problem with people who don’t understand computers.)

IT Guy: “Boy, you must be glad that breathing is a reflex. If you’d have to think about it, you’d suffocated a long time ago.”

IT Guy: “I guess you do have a purpose in God’s plans. It’s just a pity God doesn’t exist.”

IT Guy: *whistling just one monotonous tone* “In films that’s the tone you hear when someone’s brain-dead. Just asking me that question about computers makes me believe this applies to you.”

IT Guy: “I hear they found a cure for Ebola. Then why is it they haven’t found a cure for you?”

IT Guy: “I guess our company uses a zero-intelligence policy when they are hiring people.”

IT Guy: “ICT stands for Internal Communication Trouble.”

IT Guy: “Well, you could reinstall your system, perform a complete virus-scan or do a system-restore, but you could also consider to put the plug in the outlet.”

IT Guy: “Yep. That’s me. Sarcasm, irony, or just plain cynicism.”

IT Guy: “You might hate me. I don’t care. I can make all your documents disappear.”