Gonna Make You Valentine’s Pay

(I’m working at a retail store that gets enormously popular around and on Valentine’s Day. This is February 13th, about 45 minutes after close. My coworker is in the back; I’m straightening up out front.)

Customer: *banging on the door* “Hey, let me in!”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t. It’s 45 minutes after close, and we’ve zeroed out the registers. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “What?! Are you kidding me! It’s f****** Valentine’s Day, you dumb b****! Let me in there!”

Me: “Absolutely not!”

(He continues berating me through the door and pounding on it for about five minutes while I ignore him. My coworker comes out from the back.)

Coworker: “Keep that up and I’ll call the cops, a**-hole!”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(He leaves.)

Me: “Let’s stay in here for a bit and make sure he leaves. I don’t know what he thought we were gonna do for him! If you need a gift that badly, maybe you should go shopping for it before 11:45 the day before you need it!”