Gonna Bay For It Now
(I work as a receptionist for a vet clinic. When people are thinking about adding an animal to their life, we always recommend they do a lot of research into the breed, so they can choose the pet that’s best for them, both for their sakes and the pets. One morning, a woman calls in, frantic.)
Client: “I have to see a vet as soon as possible. I think there’s something horribly wrong with my beagle puppy!”
Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’m penciling you in. Can I ask, what are his symptoms?”
Client: “I’m not sure exactly, but he’s running around the house making this horrible sound, like he’s in pain. I don’t know what to do!”
Me: “Alright, well just take a deep breath. Can you get a good look at him? Does he have any injuries, or any other symptoms? Is he vomiting?”
Client: “No, he’s just making this awful sound! I think he’s-” *she’s interrupted by the ‘horrible’ sound* “There! That’s what he’s been doing all morning!”
Me: “Um, ma’am, how old is your beagle?”
Client: “Six months, why?”
Me: “Ah. Well, it sounds to me like he’s baying.”
Client: “What’s that? Is it serious?”
Me: “No, ma’am. Baying is a distinctive type of howl that hunting dogs make. When hunting breeds reach a certain age, their voice drops, the same way a human’s does, and they begin to bay when they’re excited. It sounds like your puppy just found his bay.”
Client: “But he’s not a hunting dog! I don’t even hunt!”
Me: “Beagles are a hunting breed, ma’am. They have been used to hunt for centuries. Baying is instinctive.”
Client: “Well, make him stop!”
Me: “I… what?”
Client: “Make him stop making that noise, it’s terrible!”
Me: “Ma’am, I can’t… make him stop. He’s doing what he’s bred to do. It sounds like he’s just excited with the new noise he can make and he’s showing it off. He’ll probably use it less once the newness has worn off.”
Client: “Less?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am.”
Client: “But…” *pause* “He’s going to do this forever?”
Me: “Welcome to owning a beagle, ma’am.”
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