Goldilocks Tries To Shower

(A customer enters lobby and walks up to the counter.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “My shower is broken.”

Me: “Broken how, exactly?”

Customer: “The water comes out either too hot or too cold!”

Me: “Okay, you can’t just turn the shower on high and expect it to be perfect.”

Customer: “I am a daily user of a shower; are you calling me stupid?!”

Me: “No, sir.”

(Well, I thought it.)

Customer: “Can you switch my room, then?!”

Me: “No, sir, we are sold out for the night.”

Customer: “Well, if you’re so smart, come prove me wrong, then!”

(We walk to the guy’s room and go into the bathroom.)

Me: *turns shower on max hot, puts hand in after a minute* “This feels okay; I would actually turn it up if I could.”

Customer: *puts hand in* “That is way too hot!”

Me: “Okay.” *turns it down to half* “Is that okay?”

Customer: “No, that’s still too hot!”

Me: *turns it to half cold — about 40°F, I’d say* “Is that okay now?“

Customer: “No, now it’s too cold.”

Me: “Okay.” *steps back* “Try to adjust it to your liking, and I’ll see what you mean.”

Customer: *fiddles with the knob* “This is okay here.”

(At this point, the water is barely coming out past the tub spout, maybe 60°F.)

Me: “Sir, that’s cold water. Most people shower with water that has steam coming off of it.”

Customer: “It’s not up to you to say how I shower.”

Me: “I’m not saying it is; all I am saying is I can’t turn down my water heater just so you personally can have a cold shower.”

Customer: “And there aren’t any more rooms you could get me?”

Me: “No, we are booked solid, and you have used everything in the room; I can’t give you another room.”

Customer: “THEN GET OUT OF MY ROOM! I AM GOING TO GIVE YOUR HOTEL A BAD REVIEW! I AM NEVER STAYING HERE, EVER AGAIN!”

Me: “That’s just fine. We can read and reply to any review you leave on the site. Good luck.”