Golden Gaming Moments

(I’m with some friends playing Dungeons and Dragons. My character and a friend of the dungeon master are the only elves in our group. He’s decided since I’m the only female elf, he’s going to endlessly flirt with my character despite my character completely ignoring him. It’s creepy but in a really funny way and he’s been doing it for the entire game. In this latest session, we’re traveling through caverns that are booby-trapped and cursed.)

Dungeon Master: “You open the door and find a room full of gold coins. Nothing obvious sticks out. What do you do?”

Rest Of Group: “Umm… we’ll pass.”

Me: “I think I’m going to risk it. I go inside and fill my pouch with gold.”

Dungeon Master: “Sure. You go in, scoop some gold, and nothing happens.”

Me: “All right, I join back up with the group in the hallway.”

Dungeon Master: “As you turn around, you’re overcome with the urge to take more gold. You’re finding it very hard to walk away. Roll willpower.”

(Despite my best efforts, I can’t roll high enough to escape what I now realize is cursed gold. The group begins discussing how to get me out when the other ‘elf’ speaks up.)

Elf: “I seduce her and use myself to distract her from the gold.”

Me: “NO! DON’T YOU DARE!”

Dungeon Master: “Seriously? All right, roll for it.”

(He rolls for it and… succeeds.)

Elf: *playing along in a creepy voice* “Hello, pretty lady.”

Dungeon Master: “All right, [My Name]. You glance back and forth between [Elf] and the gold, before deciding you want [Elf] more. Once you leave the room, the curse is broken and the gold you had collected disappears.”

Me: “…I hate all of you so much right now.”