Going Totally Off The Wall
(I work for a company that builds homes and develops land. As per California law, we warranty our homes for a ten-year period after the house is bought. Our warranty covers structural defects.)
Me: “Warranty. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Hello, my house has a structural defect. I want you to fix it.”
Me: “Okay, ma’am. Could you give me your address? And what exactly is the defect in question?”
Caller: “My address is [address].”
Me: “Okay, I see you in our system. Could you tell me the problem, and I will see what I can do about entering a ticket for you.”
Caller: “The walls are not strong enough. You have to send someone here to put in better walls.”
Me: “The walls are not strong enough? Are they bowing, or cracking?”
Caller: “No, the ones that are still standing are fine.”
Me: “The ones that are… still standing…?”
Caller: “Yes. I wanted to remodel to make my living room and kitchen one big room, but it was too expensive. I saw a demolition crew do wall removals on those home improvement shows, so I just got a chainsaw and cut the wall out myself.”
Me: “Okay… so you ‘remodeled?'”
Caller: “Yeah! But then my house caved in.”
Me: “… Ma’am, are you saying you cut down a load-bearing wall in your home with a chainsaw?”
Caller: “Well, I didn’t know it was load-bearing. But this is clearly a structural defect! The roof caved in, and I’ve been living here for 16 years! I could sue you for endangering my life all this time!”
Me: “Ma’am, it was not a structural defect.”
Caller: “How can you say that?! THE ROOF CAVED IN!”
Me: “Because you chopped down a load-bearing wall!”
Caller: “THIS IS NOT MY FAULT! I DESERVE A BRAND NEW HOUSE! IT WAS A STRUCTURAL DEFECT, AND I HAVE A WARRANTY!”
Me: “Your house was under warranty for 10 years. Your house is 16 years old. It was structurally sound until you made it structurally unsound, by CUTTING OUT A LOAD-BEARING WALL WITH A CHAINSAW.”
Caller: “YOU OWE ME A NEW HOUSE! YOU OWE ME A NEW HOUSE! I’LL SUE! I’LL SUE YOU!” *click*
Question of the Week
Tell us your story about a customer who couldn't understand the most simple concept.
