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Going To Sue You For The Whole Penny You’ve Got!

, , , , | Friendly | November 19, 2019

(I am leaving the doctor’s office and waiting to exit the side road. The road ends on a downward incline toward the stop sign. There is one car waiting at the stop sign. As I’m waiting, my foot slips off the brake and I quickly put it back, but not before I accidentally tap the back bumper of the car in front of me. As I’m putting the car in reverse, I hear, “My back! My back!” in an unnaturally screeching voice. Horrified, I watch the driver get out, hands balled into fists. Although I know it’s my fault, I also barely touched the car and this guy’s reaction seems extreme.)

Old Man: “What the h*** are you doing? I’m calling the police and we’re going to sue you for every penny you’ve got! My wife just broke her back! You f****** idiot, you’re going to pay for this!”

Me: *stammering, rolling down the window* “I’m so sorry, sir, my foot slipped off the brake. I—”

Old Man: “Ah, typical f****** millennial, probably driving without a license! You kids these days, you’re the biggest idiots in human history. Look what you’ve done to my wife.”

Me: *getting out of the car in horror, bracing myself for the worst* “Sir, I’m so sorry, I—”

(The old man looks me up and down. I’m wearing the rattiest clothes you could imagine since I didn’t bother to dress up for my appointment. I see his wife leaning out of the driver’s side, definitely not in the agony you’d expect for a broken back. The woman gestures to her husband to come over and then whispers something into his ear. They look at me.)

Old Man: “Um, erm… So, I guess my wife is fine, actually. No need for trouble.” *laughs nervously* “Have a good day.”

(He got into the car and they sped off, nearly getting T-boned by another car. I guess they figured I wasn’t worth suing!)


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