Going To Be A Long Grande Day

, , , | Right | October 28, 2018

(It’s 5:30 am on a regular weekday, and the first customer to come through my drive-thru is in a beat-up, old, red truck. He orders black coffee — a grande — and that’s it. Or so I thought.)

Me: “Good morning and welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you today?!”

(I’m in a good mood despite the hour.)

Customer: “Black coffee.”

Me: “Okay, a black regular coffee. What size can I get for you?”

Customer: “Medium.”

Me: “Okay, that’s a grande black coffee. Just making sure, would you like any sweetener?”

Customer: “No, thanks!”

Me: “Great! The total is $2.15 Please pull forward to the window!”

(It’s an easy order. I quickly prepare it myself, as is customary for running a register in a drive-thru at this hour. I should note that prior to opening the drive-thru, it’s customary to put out POS items like ground coffee and mugs that have velcro or tape on the bottom that adheres to the shelf on the driver’s side of the window. We also place a tip box out there. The customer pulls up and sits outside the window.)

Me: *opens window* “Good morning! I have your coffee ready. The total is $2.15 Thanks!”

Customer: “Why do they put all this f****** garbage out here on the window? Where the f*** is my coffee?”

Me: “Um… We put that out there in case anyone is interested in whole-bean coffee or mugs.”

Customer: “I don’t f****** care. Give me my f****** coffee, f***er!”

Me: “I told you I have your coffee ready, sir. Cash or card?”

Customer: “Just give me my f****** coffee!”

Me: “You need to pay first.”

Customer: “Fine, f***er!”

(I take his five-dollar bill and hand him the change and his coffee.)

Customer: “F*** this place!”

(It’s only 5:35 am at this point.)

Me: “What just happened?”

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