Going To Milk This One Forever

, , , , | Romantic | July 14, 2017

(My wife is in the living room, on her laptop. I’ve just made her a bowl of cereal and go to hand it to her from behind when she turns to say something to me and her arm catches my hand, resulting in cereal spilling all over the laptop. Unfortunately, given that laptops aren’t usually supposed to eat cereal, it no longer works after this, so we embark on an ever-so-fun half-hour drive to the nearest appliance shop to get it sent off for repair.)

Me: *to the employee* “Hi, can we send our laptop off for repair? I was bringing her some cereal and—”

Wife: “We spilled… er… cow liquid on it.”

Me: “…cow liquid?”

Wife: “I forgot the word for milk, okay?”

(And that is why, from this point on, I will always refer to milk as cow liquid.)

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  • Deadpool

    Great idea. Mock your wife for a momentary vocabulary lapse for the rest of your life. I’m sure she won’t hold a grudge at all. Let us know how it goes.

    • EJ Nauls-Poland

      You want to stick your dick in Death. You have no room to judge anyone.

  • My husband and I call a lot of things by “wrong” names because of moments just like this. When we’re watching our nieces and nephews I try to call things by their proper names, but sometimes? It just slips out.

    • Huck Perry

      May I ask which word you like to use? I’m just curious (you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to)

      • Growing up my family always called it “moo juice” although I’ve never been a fan of milk myself.

        The “wrong” words my husband and I have come up with have been because we had forgotten the actual word. We both know that “hand me the thingy” refers to the spatula while in the kitchen. Scissors are “skizzers”, because that’s what came out once and it just stuck.

        We were once in a fight and my husband wanted it to be over and said “shut the hole from which your words come.” He was so mad he had forgotten the word “mouth.” It sounds mean typed out, but it was so out of left field we both ended up laughing hysterically.

        I can’t think of any other examples right now, sorry. I know we have a bunch of them, but they don’t really occur to me until I realize I’m saying something normal people don’t say.

        • SusanG

          When my son was about three he just somehow forgot the word “knee.” As a result, my family forever and always will refer to it as the “leg knuckle.”

        • Huck Perry

          ah I see! interesting, and skizzers? I think I heard that in a story… a guy was trying to ask for scissors but keep using the word skizzers or was that another word? lol oh well. Thanks for sharing 🙂

          • Was that a story on here? I’ve been calling them that for so long, I don’t even remember when it started exactly. But I try to make sure to only say it the wrong way around my husband. I don’t need the kids in my life picking up my weird habits, haha.

          • Huck Perry

            yeah it was a story here. Ah okay lol

          • Haha, well then I guess I’m glad I’m not the only weirdo who calls them that!

  • Flami

    Make this into a 10 Guy meme on r/adviceanimals, OP.

  • Hedronal

    Should have been “Going to Cow Liquid This One Forever”.

  • Adrian Mckeehan

    REMEMBER Cow Liquid is not Cow Blood

    • PimpKat

      … I wish my first thought had been blood.

    • Trihan

      Haha, I remember that story.

  • Loren Pechtel

    For my wife and I it’s “cow juice”. When I first met her she knew basically zero English, in the early years we got very creative about working around words she didn’t know. This was when looking it up meant a paper dictionary and in the early years the translation was entirely one way, it was years before we found a Chinese to English dictionary. Lots of games of 20 questions when she got stuck.

  • TritonJohn54

    “Moo juice.”

  • Bumble Bree

    My husband and I went to the grocery store and he grabbed a small hand basket and I for some reason was like, “Wait – don’t we need one of the baskets with wheels?” and he looked at me dumbstruck, “…You mean a cart?” “Right. Yeah that.” Been calling them baskets with wheels ever since!