Going Loco(motive)

(I work security at a light rail. The last light rail heading south comes through my station at 11:38 pm. It is currently 11:50 pm.)

Patron: “Excuse me, officer, when is the next light rail heading south supposed to come?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, the last light rail heading south left at 11:38. There are no more running till tomorrow morning at 5:30 am.”

Patron: “Bull-s***! I always catch the light rail later than this. You are full of s***! Just tell me when the next one is coming.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, their are no more coming tonight. I have been working at this particular station for six months, and can assure you that no more are coming tonight.”

Patron: “Well, how the h*** are you getting home?”

Me: “Well sir, when my shift ends, I drive myself home.”

Patron: “Well, you’re gonna have to drive me home then.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I will not be able to do that. If you would like I can call you a cab. But there are no more light rails heading south tonight.”

Patron: “Aren’t you security? You have to give me a ride home. It’s not my fault the f****** light rail stopped running early. Give me a f****** ride home.”

Me: “No, sir, I will not give you a ride home. Unfortunately there are no light rails running south anymore, and if you are not catching the light rail north or east, I am going to have to ask you to leave, due to a no loitering law on the light rail stations.”

Patron: “Bull-s***! I ain’t going nowhere if you don’t give me a ride!”

Me: “Sir, if you refuse to leave, I am going to be forced to radio the light rail police.”

Patron: “Call the mother-f****** police. I don’t give a f***!”

(I go through with his “request” to call the police. When they arrive, he demands they give him a ride, and continues to refuse to leave. They end up giving him a ride—to jail.)