Going To Deck Him In A Minute

(My husband dislikes yard work and doing anything remotely to do with maintenance on our home, even though it’s what he does for work. It’s been 15 years and he’s finally going decided to do something about a deck outside our back door. He takes me to our local hardware to show me the “eco” decking he has chosen so I can choose the colour I like. I’ve learned not argue because he always makes a stand for what he wants or he doesn’t go ahead with it. I just calmly point out facts, but the decision has to sound like it’s come from him or he won’t do it.)

Husband: “So, this is what I’m going to do it with. It’s made from recycled plastic and stuff but it looks like wood. What colour do you prefer?”

(It has fake wood grain texture but the colour is uniform like it’s been painted. I don’t like painted decks.)

Me: “I don’t really like the colours. Are you going to paint the wood grain on it?”

Husband: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The colour is so flat and un-interesting. If it’s supposed to look like wood, it needs to have wood grain colouring through it. I’d really like that decking over there; the colours are perfect.”

Husband: “But that’s wood and will need yearly sealing to keep it maintained. Are you going to do that?”

Me: “That’s not that hard to do. The high pressure cleaning thingy you have can be used on the eco boards, right?”

Husband: “Of course.”

Me: “So seeing as I don’t know how to use it, I guess you’ll be out cleaning all of the dirt out of the graining on those boards monthly, then?”

Husband: “Ooh, hey, look! The wood one is half the price. I think we’ll go with that.”