Going To Deck Him In A Minute

, , , , | Romantic | July 21, 2017

(My husband dislikes yard work and doing anything remotely to do with maintenance on our home, even though it’s what he does for work. It’s been 15 years and he’s finally going decided to do something about a deck outside our back door. He takes me to our local hardware to show me the “eco” decking he has chosen so I can choose the colour I like. I’ve learned not argue because he always makes a stand for what he wants or he doesn’t go ahead with it. I just calmly point out facts, but the decision has to sound like it’s come from him or he won’t do it.)

Husband: “So, this is what I’m going to do it with. It’s made from recycled plastic and stuff but it looks like wood. What colour do you prefer?”

(It has fake wood grain texture but the colour is uniform like it’s been painted. I don’t like painted decks.)

Me: “I don’t really like the colours. Are you going to paint the wood grain on it?”

Husband: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The colour is so flat and un-interesting. If it’s supposed to look like wood, it needs to have wood grain colouring through it. I’d really like that decking over there; the colours are perfect.”

Husband: “But that’s wood and will need yearly sealing to keep it maintained. Are you going to do that?”

Me: “That’s not that hard to do. The high pressure cleaning thingy you have can be used on the eco boards, right?”

Husband: “Of course.”

Me: “So seeing as I don’t know how to use it, I guess you’ll be out cleaning all of the dirt out of the graining on those boards monthly, then?”

Husband: “Ooh, hey, look! The wood one is half the price. I think we’ll go with that.”

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  • Kelli

    The dirt on the graining makes it look more like real wood.

  • Gnomer Denois

    “My husband dislikes yard work and doing anything remotely to do with maintenance on our home, BECAUSE it’s what he does for work.”

    • EJ Nauls-Poland

      *Corrects a grammar error while making another one.

      • Gnomer Denois

        I wasn’t correcting a grammar error. I was specifically saying that the reason why someone wouldn’t want to do something for work is because they have to do it for work. Sorry for not meeting your standards.

        • EJ Nauls-Poland

          Ah, my bad.

        • Missy Lamb

          That is so true. My dad used to take a lot of pictures of our family, but once he became a professional photographer that all stopped. Turns out if you do it for work, it makes it less enjoyable in your off time.

    • This! Thanks for saving me all that typing!

    • Rob Tonka

      “My husband dislikes yard work and doing anything remotely to do with maintenance on our home”

      You say this as if your husband is unique. Don’t most people dislike yard work? Don’t most people dislike WORK? I work because a paycheck is necessary to pay life’s expenses. I do yard work cause it needs to be done and I don’t want to pay someone.

    • Barry

      Exactly, it’s the same with mechanics, they usually have the worst cars in the world, and only do the bare minimum so they keep running.

  • evandarya

    He sounds like a catch.

  • emofishermen

    man, OP, i hope your husband loves you a lot, cause theres only so much you can deal with

    • Kitty

      Gotta agree with this.

  • Oldmanmike

    Pretty common for people not to want to do the work they do on the job on their day off. Mechanics car is always broken, painters house needs painting, and I don’t want to sit around on my butt doing nothing on the weekends 😀

    • theBlueWitch

      “the cobbler’s children are the worst shod”

    • Jennifer Smith

      My husband works as a chef. I do the cooking at the house 99% of the time.

    • RallyLock

      Teachers can’t wait to get away from kids on weekends.

    • Li

      People on the phone all day either text a lot or visit in person. …or is that just me..?

  • Kitty

    Sheesh, if you don’t know how to use the high-pressure cleaner thingy, learn it. Or you start the work of making a deck if it’s important to you.

    • Jennifer Smith

      Did you miss the part where the husband decided to finally redo the deck? And he picked the “eco” decking, so he should be reponisble for it’s maintenance. The wife did not initiate the deck project, and her preferred decking was easier to maintain, which she was totally willing to do. She didn’t like any of the color options for his chosen decking, so she reminded him that it would need to be cleaned reguarly to keep it properly maintained. Why should she have to be the one to clean the decking she didn’t want in the first place?

      • Kitty

        The part of living together having to do with sharing the duties on cleaning stuff, even if it’s technically not ‘yours’ to clean?

        • Carolyn Foot

          To an extent, but large purchases should still be a compromise for this reason. It’s not fair if one person doesn’t really have a say in major decisions, but is expected to put in half the work anyway.

          There are so many things that bother me about this story, and this is one of them. When one partner is too dominant or pushy, the other partner learns how to be an excellent manipulator. Seriously people, learn how to communicate respectfully :/

      • Beezlebub

        Seems to me pressure washing the eco stuff occasionally would be easier than sealing it annually.

  • Powers

    So you’d rather have the perfect look than use ecologically friendly materials?

    • Torbjörn Axelsson

      Plastic, even “recycled” in this form is not eco friendly. It will sit outside crumbling and release micro granules of non-decomposable plastic.

      The only reasonable way to reuse plastic actually to burn it to get rid of it. The resulting smoke pollutants can be contained.

    • Xebi

      Wood is far more ecologically friendly than plastic, provided it’s sourced responsibly and replanted. It’s renewable, doesn’t require complex chemical processing to make into useable products (although I’m not sure about the sealant) and is fully decomposable – unlike plastic. Yes, it can be recycled but that in itself is a complex process that requires a lot of energy and other resources

  • Rich

    Did anyone proofread this? The grammar is atrocious even by this site’s standards.

    • Neil Fairweather

      Sorry, what’s wrong with it? (OK, the story isn’t easy to read, but that’s because its style is turbid. I can’t spot any actual *grammatical* errors.)

      • Rich

        Really? Okay then.
        ‘It’s been 15 years and he’s finally going decided’
        he’s finally going decided? Maybe he’s finally decided?

        ‘I’ve learned not argue’
        I’ve learned not *to* argue, perhaps?

        ‘but the decision has to sound like it’s come from him’
        the decision has to sound like it’s coming from him, maybe?

        • Neil Fairweather

          Third one: I’m pretty sure it is a contraction of “sound like it has come from him”, which is a natural way to phrase it.

          The other two, I concede.

          • Rich

            My mistake, then. I read it in my mind as ‘it is come from him’, rather than ‘it has come from him’. Sometimes contractions are ambiguous that way.

  • Asiyd

    ….That sounds absolutely exhausting. Kudos to you, because I don’t think I could handle that.

  • Roler42

    Gotta love the beauty of reverse psychology 😀

  • underscore

    A pressure washer is hardly a complex device, most people are capable of learning to use one.

  • Bobismeisbob

    ewww yeah fake wood texture with flat paint is just a no go. I’d rather a checkerboard or other artificial pattern on it then rather than uncanny valley wood.

  • Missy Lamb

    I just can’t get behind manipulating one’s partner.