Going Crazy By The Gallon

, , , | Right | May 1, 2020

I work at a small garage and gas station that has a retro look and feel to it, right down to the old analog gas pumps. One day, a man in a large SUV comes in and prepays $40. After pumping his gas, he comes into the store.

Customer: “You guys are robbing me! You have these pumps rigged to rip me off!”

Me: “I assure you that’s not the case, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “My gas gauge says I only have a half a tank! I’m going to call the cops!”

Me: “You can feel free, if you’d like. An inspector from the state of Connecticut was here just last week and gave our pumps a clean bill of health. They have very strict guidelines and deemed our pumps accurate, as you can see on the dated sticker on the pump.”

Customer: “I don’t believe a stupid sticker! You went in the pump and rigged it!”

Me: “Sir, how much gas did you have before pumping?”

Customer: “It was almost empty, why?”

Me: “Well, sir, you have a 22-gallon gas tank. You bought $40 of gas at $4 a gallon. As the pump indicates, you have bought ten gallons, or roughly half a tank.”

Customer: “That’s it. I’m calling the cops!”

He did. They showed up, heard the story, laughed in his face, and left immediately. The man stood around making a couple more phone calls, glaring at me the whole time, then, looking defeated, got back in his SUV, and sped off, squealing the tires as he pulled out.

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