Going To Caramel Chew Chew You Out

(I’m at the mall. I just bought myself an ice cream cone and I sit down to enjoy it. As I’m licking it, a random man walks by, stops, stares at me for a moment and smiles.)

Man: “I like the way you lick that, miss.”

(I sink in on myself, embarrassed. An old woman nearby who watched the entire exchange walks over and begins smacking the man over the head with her giant purse.)

Old Woman: “STOP—” *smack* “SEXUALIZING—” *smack* “ICE CREAM!”

Man: “Grandma, stop it!”

Old Woman: “I raised you better than this!”

(The old woman dragged the man away, still chastising him. I went off to find a quiet area to finish my cone.)