God Bless That Response!
It is Pride Month, and I open myself up to being shouted at by conservative old ladies by wearing a Pride pin at work. I expect it, and I am used to it, especially on Sundays when they all get out of Church at the same time.
Customer #1: “So, you’re a lesbian, eh?”
Me: “I am. Happy Pride!”
Customer #1: “Don’t you ‘Happy Pride’ me! God hates gays, so I hate you, too!”
Me: “That’s entirely your opinion, ma’am.”
Customer #1: “It’s not an opinion; it’s Biblical!”
The next customer, an entirely kinder-looking older lady, steps in.
Customer #2: “Hey! God loves everyone!”
[Customer #2] looks over [Customer #1].
Customer #2: “You’re his least favorite, though.”
Customer #1: “F*** off, Gladys!”
[Customer #1] storms off.
Me: “You know her?”
Customer #2: “Sister-in-law. We just came out of the same church.”
Me: “I’m… sorry?”
Customer #2: “Not as sorry as my husband!”
