Go Big So They’ll Go Home

Several years ago, my grandmother lived with my family. After she passed away, my father was punctual about closing accounts she used, sending out copies of the death certificate when necessary, and so forth. But we kept receiving calls from her former mobile carrier.

My father tried everything, from resubmitting her death certificate, to speaking with a supervisor, to just hanging up on them. They kept calling, at least twice a week.

This, along with continued telemarketing calls for her, got on my father’s nerves. Finally, he took to answering any call who asked to speak with her by shouting, “She’s dead and you vultures still won’t leave her alone!” and bursting into fake sobs.

All but a few rare telemarketing calls finally stopped after about a week of that.