Go And Do Other People

, , , , | Working | March 5, 2018

(It is about nine pm, and a few of us are still in the office. A colleague comes into my office to chat to me and my officemate.)

Colleague: *to my officemate* “I have nothing to do, so now I have to look up Belgian law.”

(When he says he has nothing to do, he means on the matter he is working on with my officemate, not that he has absolutely nothing to do, but I don’t realise this.)

Me: “Wait. Why are you here, then?”

Colleague: “Like I said, I wanted to take a break and chat to you guys.”

Me: “No, I mean, if you have nothing to do, why are you still in the building? You could go and do other things. I mean, you have a girlfriend.”

(There is a pause as my colleague and officemate both stare at me. It is at this point that I realise what I just said.)

Me: “Wait, that did not come out the way I meant it!”

Colleague: “No, no, I know what you meant. I should be out shagging my girlfriend just because I have a girlfriend.”

Me: “No, no, I meant, like, you could go have a romantic dinner or something.”

Colleague: “Uh-huh. Thanks for literally telling me to f*** off.”

Me: “Can I start again, please?”

Colleague: “Sure.”

Me: “[Colleague]! How great to see you! Come in, please! Distract us!”

Colleague: “Now, that’s more like it.”

(My officemate and colleague still won’t let me live that down.)

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