Global Positioning Showers

(I am having an e-mail exchange with one of Parole Officers that refers me a lot of clients.)

Parole Officer: “Has [new client] shown up yet?”

Me: “He was supposed to come to me about a week ago, but nope, still nothing.”

Parole Officer: “Okay, he’s on his way. He’s not the brightest crayon in the box, so you might have to explain the procedures to him a few times.”

Me: “Cool, good to know.”

(Several minutes pass.)

Parole Officer: “He apparently can’t find you. He called me a few minutes ago to say he was in the shower. I am confused.”

Me: “That’s a new one.”

Parole Officer: “I know, right? Job security.”