Gliding Your Way Out Of That One

(My 11-year-old cousin is spending the night at my house. She had arrived at the airport that evening, and I’ll be driving her up to our grandparents’ house the next day. Discovering that I have Netflix, she excitedly picks out Jackass 3.5, her “favorite movie ever,” and declares I have to watch. A ways in, she asks me about something happening on-screen.)

Cousin: “What is ‘sex lube’?”

Me: “Uh… you know the general, uh, parts fitting together, yeah?”

Cousin: *nods*

Me: “It’s this stuff that makes things more comfortable.”

Cousin: “Oh, okay.”

(I made sure she didn’t try and watch anything like that on our grandma’s Netflix account that week.)