Glasgow-No-No

Many years ago, I worked in tech support for online banking. We were based in an office in Glasgow.

One evening I get a call from an irate man. I give my opening spiel, with an obvious but fairly soft Glasgow accent.

Caller: “F***’s sake! I can’t understand you! Where are you?”

Me: “We are based in Glasgow, sir.”

Caller: “F*** that. Everyone in Glasgow is stupid and addicted to heroin. I want to talk to someone English!”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, as we are based in Glasgow, all of the staff here are Glaswegian. There are no English people employed in this centre.”

Caller: “Is there another centre?”

Me: “Yes, there is another centre that handles these calls, but—”

Caller: “F*** you! I’m going to hang up and call back until I get the other centre! Then I can speak to someone English!”

He hung up. What I was about to say before he hung up was that the other centre was based in Wales.