Glad We Straightened That Out

(I’m taking a break in the staff room with some coworkers. Note: I’m a lesbian.)

Coworker #1: “Oh, man, you know who’d I go gay for? Anderson Cooper.”

Coworker #2: “Yeeees. He is a silver fox.”

Coworker #3: “I’d go gay for Neil Patrick Harris in a heartbeat.”

Coworker #1: “Hey, [my name], who would you go gay for?”

Me: *laughs* “Well, if I had to go straight, I think I’d go for Anderson Cooper, too.”

Coworker #2: “Um, he asked who you’d go gay for.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t have to go gay for anyone. I’m already there.”

(Coworker #2 stares blankly at me for a bit until Coworker #1 speaks up.)

Coworker #1: “Dude, she’s a lesbian! Let her go straight for someone! Jesus!”