Glad We Straightened That Out, Part 2

(The lunch rush has just passed, so my coworkers and I are chatting a bit. I am new to this job and have only been working there for a week. I’m a woman.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], are you into black guys?”

(He is not black, and neither are any of our other coworkers, so I have no idea why he’s even asking me this.)

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Coworker: “Would you ever date a black guy?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, sure. One of my ex-girlfriends was black, but what does race have to do—”

Coworker: “Whoa, hold up! You dated a girl?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m bisexual.”

(My coworker starts shaking his head.)

Coworker: “No.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Coworker: “I don’t believe in bisexuality. Either you’re gay or you’re straight. Bisexuals are just secretly gay, having a bit of fun, or confused.”

Me: “Um, dude, no. I can tell you that I like both men and women.”

Coworker: “No! You’re just confused! If you were f***** by the right guy, you’d realize that you’re straight!”

Me: “Are you serious right now? So, let me get this straight: you’ve known me for four days, and you know nothing about my personal life, and you think you know my own sexuality better than I do? If that’s not the most conceited thing I’ve ever heard, then I don’t know what the f*** is.”

Coworker: *shuts up and leaves me alone*

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