Giving Your Life’s Account

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. I am [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to cancel my account.”

(Everything is going normal until I tell him he is cancelled. Normally I ask if there’s anything else, the customer says “no” and they hang up. Instead this gentleman begins discussing a pyramid scheme his son is running that he’s been putting money in. He keep telling me details hoping I’ll join. I am creeped out and refusing to provide personal answers while giving non-committal answers. Eventually I realize that he doesn’t care what I say, so I put him on mute.)

Customer: “Yeah, and the government will never help. I know because I’m a veteran. My son is a great businessman. It’s hard to get returns like this! I’ll be a millionaire soon!”

(Eventually…)

Customer: “What time is it?”

Me: “It’s [time].”

Customer: “Well, I should probably go. But I’ll tell my son that I told you about it. What was your name again?”

Me: “It’s [Really Common First Name]. Have a good day, sir.”

Customer: “I will. And thank you for listening to a crazy old man! I don’t have a job any more, so I get really lonely. You have a good day, and find someone so you aren’t lonely!”