Giving Them Something To Wine About

(A day after attending a dinner party, I go into the liquor store to buy some wine that was served at the party. I did not actually drink the wine.)

Clerk: “Hi! Can I help you find anything?”

Me: “No, thanks. I’m just looking.”

(As the store is empty, the clerk seems bored. He follows me.)

Clerk: “Are you looking for a specific wine?”

Me: “Yes, but there’s no way you can help.”

Clerk: “Sure I can. Try me.”

Me: “I’m trying to find the wine my daughter-in-law served last night. I was told it was really good. I didn’t drink any and I didn’t see it poured, so I don’t know what it was called or even what kind of wine.”

Clerk: “Do you know the name?”

Me: “No, and I don’t know what kind it was. I never saw it poured.”

Clerk: “Was it red or white?”

Me: “As I said, I don’t know. I’m hoping I will recognize the bottle.”

Clerk: “I don’t think I can help you. What kind of wine do you like? I can recommend something.”

Me: “No, thanks. I just want to see if I can find this one.”

(The clerk wanders off, looking annoyed. I eventually recognize the bottle and grab some.)

Clerk: “Is this what you were looking for?”

Me: “Yes. I knew I would recognize the label even if I couldn’t describe it.”

Clerk: “Well, I could have found it for you if you would have told me it was [Brand] or even that it was Malbec. If you want help, you need to have some information to start.”

Me: “But I didn’t want help. I wanted to look.”

(He finished the rest of the transaction without commentary.)