Giving The Class A Piece Of His Mind

(I am in a physiological psychology class. We’re in the middle of the unit giving an overview of brain function, and the professor explains to the class that he may have a lead on bringing in an actual human brain for the next day’s lecture. At the next class, he walks in with a cooler with a biohazard label on it, facemask, gloves, and so on. He makes a big show of getting his gloves on.)

Professor: “Alright class! You can probably guess what’s in here. Now let me get this out.”

(The professor reaches into the cooler and lifts something up, giving the class a brief glimpse of the round and wrinkled grey-pink top of the brain contained inside before letting it slip back inside.)

Professor: “Hold on, what’s it catching on? C’mon out, you!”

(He continues to wrestle with the allegedly stuck brain in the cooler, failing to extract it. Finally, he peels his gloves off and hurls them into the trashcan.)

Student #1: “Uh, shouldn’t those be… I mean…”

Student #2: *aghast* “That’s supposed to go in a hazardous waste container, not the trash can!”

Professor: *winks* “I won’t tell if you won’t!”

(He reaches back into the cooler, now barehanded, and continues to have trouble extracting the contents. I figure he’s pranking the class, but enjoy watching my classmates who haven’t clued in.)

Professor: “…You know what? Forget that.”

(He grabs a spoon, stabs it into the cooler, coming out with a spoonful of the grey-pinkish substance, and eats it. The class is absolutely horrified and grossed-out.)

Professor: “Mmm. Delicious. Anybody else want some?”

Student #3: “That is disgusting and—”

(The professor removes the ‘brain’ from the cooler, revealing it to be not a real brain at all, but peach jello made with condensed milk. Best professor ever!)