Giving Them Credit For Enduring For So Long

(I work at a popular home improvement store. During the morning, the fire alarm had gone off and because of it, I am partially deaf. This happens ten or so minutes after the alarm is turned off.)

Me: *picks up phone* “Appliances. How can I help you?”

Customer: *muffled voice & thick accent* “Yes, I mmmph fridge mmmph pick up mmph thirty mmmph house.”

Me: “…I’m sorry, did you say you wanted a fridge delivered to your house in thirty minutes?”

Customer: “Yes. I mmmph mmph like 5 or 6 mmph. Your mmph website mmmph I like mmph want fridge.”

Me: “…sir, we won’t be able to deliver today. Our delivery is pushed out several days, and all of our appliances are delivered from a warehouse in Dallas, so—”

Customer: *muffled voice gets slightly clearer* “Oh, that’s fine. Whenever you can deliver it.”

Me: “Are you wanting to purchase over the phone?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And you’re paying by credit card, correct?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *begins setting up order despite still having a hard time hearing him*

Customer: “Can I pay for this in like a payment plan? How many months will it take?”

Me: “Well… uh, we have a [Company] credit card. You can get special financing. Six months no interest.”

Customer: “Yes. That.”

Me: “Do you have a [Company] account?”

Customer: “No. How do I get one?”

Me: “Well, you can apply either online on our website or in the store.”

Customer: “Can I apply over the phone?”

Me: “No, sir. The application needs your social security number and state ID, and that is information I am not allowed to take over the phone.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. So, just apply online?”

Me: “Yes. If you go to the top section, there’s a button that says ‘Credit Center.’ Click that.”

Customer: “Let me just make sure I’m on the right website.”

Me: “…sir, you told me earlier you were on our website.”

Customer: “Yes, but I want to make sure it’s the right one. Is it spelled [spells out website]?”

Me: “Yes. That is correct.”

Customer: “Okay, I clicked it.”

Me: “All right. You should see the application page. It’ll probably take you about five minutes. You can call me back when you’re done.”

Customer: *ignores what I’ve just said* “Do I fill out my name?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And my address?”

Me: “…yes.”

Customer: “And my phone number?”

Me: “…yess…”

Customer: “…and my annual salary?”

Me: “…yesss…”

(This continues on for the entire application and I end up having to stay on the line with him while he waited three minutes for his application to process — which didn’t approve him.)