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Giving Birth To An Ignorant Comment

| Friendly | March 24, 2016

(My husband invites a friend over one day, and his 20-year-old girlfriend came along, too. I am pregnant, past my due date, and absolutely ginormous. Suddenly the girlfriend looks at me and changes the subject.)

Girlfriend: “So, can you just start pushing whenever you want?”

Me: “Pushing?”

Girlfriend: “Like when you decide you’re ready to have the baby, can you just start pushing?”

Me: “Er, no… I have to wait until I go into labor. The fetus sends a chemical signal telling my body that it is ready, then my body will start cramping and having contractions, and eventually my cervix will open wide enough that my body will be ready to start pushing—”

Girlfriend: *stares with strange look on her face*

Me: *trying to help her hide her embarrassment* “I wish I could though, because then I would have had her weeks ago…”

(My baby was born at home 20 days post due date, at 9 pounds 11 oz, with a 2 pound placenta!)

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