Giving An Earful

(I have an undercut that hides my left ear, but exposes my right ear. Both ears are gauged to size two, and I normally wear a hollow plug, or flesh tunnel, in them. I’ve had this hairstyle and gauge for about four months now, and have been working at a locally-owned grocery market about three weeks. The majority of my time I’ve worked under a particular manager. She leans around my right side to check my register amount and then turns to look at me.)

Manager: “Alright, before you go on break I’ll need to—OH MY GOODNESS!”

(The customers in my line and I jump at how loudly she yelps.)

Me: “What?! What’s wrong?”

Manager: “You have holes in your ears!”

Me: “…yes? I do?”

Manager: “No, I mean big holes!”

(She holds up her index finger and thumb to make an ‘O.’)

Manager: “Big holes! With the jewelry!”

Me: “Oh! You mean I’ve gauged them.”

Manager: “Yes! But why? Doesn’t it hurt? Are you okay? When did you do this?!”

Me: “Uh… I like how it looks; it doesn’t hurt since the lobe is mostly just skin and fat, and I started gauging about two years ago, but I’ve been this size since about May.”

Manager: “Really, that long? Wow, where have I been?”

Me: “On my left side, I guess.”