Gives New Meaning To “Spillover” Parking

(I am working for a large music festival doing gate security. I often have to deal with drunk or confused individuals, but this guy was my favorite.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you can’t come in without a ticket.”

Drunk: “I am trying to find my car.”

Me: “Okay, sir, but the parking lot is in the other direction; this is the festival grounds.”

Drunk: “I know that. I parked my car over there—” *waves hand towards fairgrounds* “—I need to get through to get to my car.”

Me: *look over shoulder* “Sir, the other side of the grounds is Lake Michigan. Are you trying to tell me you parked in the lake?”

Drunk: “Yes. Can I come in now?”