Give The Workers A (Prison) Break
(I’m on my way home after a hockey social, dressed as a prisoner in a bright orange jumpsuit and trick handcuffs. I’m pretty hungry, so I stop for food. Inside there is a drunk man yelling at the cashiers.)
Drunk: “I said [competitor’s signature item]! This is WRONG!”
Cashier: “I told you, you’re at [place], not [competitor]!”
Drunk: “I know where I am!”
Me: “Oh, do you?”
(He turns to me, and does a double take at my outfit.)
Me: “Because I think you’re in a whole world of trouble.”
(I start advancing, cackling Joker-style.)
Drunk: “What ya gonna do, crazy b****?”
(In answer, I stretch out, making it look like I’ve just torn apart my handcuffs.)
Drunk: “Holy s***!”
(I keep approaching, cackling.)
Drunk: “Psycho b****!”
(He throws his food at me and runs. I reach the counter, and drop the act.)
Me: “Can I get a portion of nuggets, please?”
(The cashier just stares at me for a moment.)
Cashier: “Y’know, I think he was right on the crazy part. Nuggets coming right up.”