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Give Her All The Karats Or She’ll Crucify You

, , , , | Right | April 15, 2019

(I’m assisting an elderly couple, who are regulars of ours, at the jewelry counter.)

Husband: “We’re looking for a yellow gold crucifix.”

Me: “Most of them will be in this case right here.”

Husband: “Not a cross, now, a crucifix.”

Me: “Yes, sir, we have plenty of both in this case.”

Husband: “Do you have any in 18-karat? I’m making up a rosary for my nephew.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we only carry 10- or 14-karat gold pieces.”

Husband: “I want 18-karat to match the beads on the rosary. Do you know what a rosary is?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Sadly, we don’t carry 18-karat–“

Husband: *interrupting, and pulling the rosary out of his pocket to show me* “It looks like this, and it’s used in Catholic prayer.”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Husband: “Now I can tell you’re not Catholic, but I’m sure you’re still a good Christian.”

Me: “…”

(The hilarious part was that he was wrong on both counts. I was baptized Catholic, but my parents gave us free rein on our religious beliefs and I’m currently agnostic. I still know what a crucifix and a rosary are!)