Girls Will Be Girls

College & University | Friendly | June 26, 2016

(I am a nonbinary transgender person, meaning that I am neither male nor female, but I present in a largely masculine way and use he/him/his pronouns. I have just moved to this town and started at a new college, so I don’t know anyone and no one knows anything about me. I’m sitting in the cafeteria at lunch with a girl from my course who I’ve become friends with, about two or three weeks into term. We’re talking together when I notice a group of girls from our class sitting together and giggling, throwing looks our way, then one gets up and approaches me.)

Girl: “I don’t mean to be rude, right, but are you a girl or a boy?”

Me: “I’m a guy.” *I say this because it’s easier than explaining the meaning of nonbinary over and over to people I’m not interested in talking to*

Girl: “Yeah, but, like, are you a real guy?”

Me: “Yes… I’m a real guy.”

Friend: “[Girl], just leave it, would you?”

Girl: “No, I mean, like, do you have a penis?”

Me: *after a pause as I blink in shock* “That’s not really any of your business, now, is it?”

Girl: “No, but I’m just curious. You know I don’t mean to be rude or anything. I just wanna know.”

Me: “I’m not really comfortable telling you either way. That’s a really personal question from someone I’ve known less than three weeks.”

Girl: *rolls her eyes and goes back to her friends in a huff* “Well, I was only asking!”

Friend: *turns to me with raised eyebrows* “Does that happen a lot?”

Me: *sighs and takes a bite of my lunch* “Unfortunately, yes.”

(I complained to our course tutor about inappropriate questions and she promised to talk to all four of the girls involved, but they continued to ask inane and personal questions over Facebook for hours that evening. One also tried to trick me into telling them by saying there was a gay guy they knew who fancied me but he wanted to know if I had a vagina or not before asking me out. That plan fell through when I cunningly asked for the name of this transphobic admirer of mine, and they couldn’t think up a fake name to give me. Thankfully now, eight months on, they seem to understand that trans people have basic human rights which include not being interrogated on personal matters, and are actually very good at using the right pronouns.)

This story is part of the Transgender-themed roundup!