Gimme Some Of The Sweet Stuff You Keep Under There

I work at a restaurant. It’s a typical night, kind of slow. I get a table with a father and his kid.

Me: “Hey, how are y’all doing?”

Customer: “Good, thanks.”

Me: “Good! What can I get you to drink?”

Customer: “A [soda].”

Me: “Sounds good. I’ll go grab that and be right back.”

Kid: “Lift up your skirt, please.”

I was a little stunned, but mostly I was trying my hardest not to lose my s*** laughing because it was the dad I was talking to the whole time and that was the first thing out of this seven-year-old’s mouth.

I know that sounds bad, but for one, I’m a dude, and two, the kid meant my apron. My coworker took over the table because it was a buddy of his, and he told me the kid said that because he served them all the time and kept candy for the kid in his pocket, so that’s what the kid wanted.

It’s kind of a cute thing but a really funny thing to be able to say I’ve had a customer ask me to lift up my skirt.