Gift Cards, Derp, Derpa, Gift Cards

(The phone rings and it is a customer wanting to know about gift cards. We are running a promotion where if you buy $100, you get a $25 bonus card.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Caller: “Are you doing something with gift cards?”

Me: “Yes.”

(I explain the promotion.)

Caller: “How much is a good amount for two people to eat?”

Me: “A $50 gift card would probably cover two people.”

Caller: “Well, I need to buy them for two separate couples, so I will need $400 in gift cards. What do I get?”

Me: *ignoring the incorrect math* “You would get four $25 bonus cards.”

Caller: “What?”

Me: “For every $100 you spend, you get an extra $25 dollar gift card.”

Caller: “For what? What do I do?”

Me: “What is your question exactly?”

Caller: “I don’t know! You’re the one who said something about gift cards!”