The Ghost Of Kenny Rogers Past

(My dad and I love to make references. My mom never gets them, and my brother gets annoyed when he does get them. It’s Christmas and we’ve just finished opening our presents. I’m in the process of taking all of my presents downstairs, and as I’m doing so, the others are talking about gambling, as a joke, since every year we all get lottery tickets in our stockings.)

Brother: “Who gambles in this family?”

Dad: “Oh, you know, your mom, her sister…”

(He’s still talking as we both look over at Mom.)

Brother: “You gamble?”

(She shakes her head no with a smile on her face.)

Dad: “No, she’s too cheap.”

Mom: *laughs* “Didn’t have the money.”

Dad: “Yeah, she knows when to hold ’em, knows when to fold ’em…”

(I smile because I know where he’s going with this.)

Me: “Knows when to walk away? Knows when to run?”

Brother: “Oh, jeez.”

Dad: “She never counts her money when she’s sitting at the table.”

Me: “There’ll be time enough for counting when the dealing’s done!”

(My brother groaned, Dad and I laughed, and my mother just shrugged like she always does when she doesn’t get it.)