Getting Your Own House In Order

(My younger sisters, 11 and 13, read Harry Potter over the summer and fell in love. Ever since, they’ve been arguing about which ‘house’ they belong in. It was cute at first, but I’m not a Harry Potter fan, and this has gone on for months.)

Sister #1: “I think you’re a Hufflepuff.”

Sister #2: “I am not! I am a Ravenclaw! Or maybe Gryffindor.”

Sister #1: “You’re not smart enough to be a Ravenclaw. I’m a Ravenclaw. You’re Hufflepuff.”

Sister #2: “Am not! [My Name], tell her I’m not a Hufflepuff!”

Me: “You’re not a Hufflepuff.”

Sister #2: “See? I—”

Me: “—and [Sister #1] is not a Ravenclaw. And neither are you. And you’re not Gryffindor or Slytherin either. You know why not? BECAUSE YOU’RE BOTH MUGGLES!”

(Cue maniacal laughter from me. Somehow, they did not find this nearly amusing as I did.)