Getting Them To Understand Is Like Pulling Teeth

(I’ve just found out from my dentist that I need all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. I schedule an appointment for the next week and then rush over to the store where I work. The assistant manager happens to make her weekly schedule this week and gets very angry if people try to take time off after she posts it.)

Me: “Have you posted the schedule yet for next week?”

Assistant Manager: “No, why?”

Me: “I just found out I need all of my wisdom teeth removed. My surgery is scheduled for next week. They said recovery time is at most a full week so just to be on the safe side I’d rather not come in all of next week.”

Assistant Manager: “Well, it’s too late! I’ve already figured out the schedule in my head!”

Me: “But it isn’t posted yet. I apologize for the short notice, but I just found out an hour ago that this was happening.”

Assistant Manager: “It isn’t even that big of a deal! Seriously, you’ll be able to work an hour after surgery! You will be able to come in next week; your doctor lied.”

Me: “Um… please don’t schedule me to work. My face is going to be all swollen and I’ll be on strong pain medication. I will not be able to come in next week! And are you really going to have me come in a few hours after surgery?!”

Assistant Manager: “Yes! There is no ‘recovery time.’ You’ll be able to work right away. And it’s too bad… I’ve already made the schedule!”

(My assistant manager storms off, leaving me stunned. Another coworker overhears the entire conversation and immediately offers to cover any shifts that I get scheduled for. The best part: the assistant manager got all four wisdom teeth pulled a month earlier, and she took over two weeks off to recover!)