Getting Their Smoke Signals Crossed

(I am visiting my parents. All of my husband’s side of the family lives in Colorado, as well. I’m not fully paying attention to the conversation as I am getting my daughter ready to leave and go home.)

Dad: “Does anyone on the [Family] side have a smoker?”

Me: “No.”

Dad: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Well, none of the family smokes but I don’t know about [Brother-In-Law], [Other Brother-In-Law], and [Sister-In-Law]’s families.”

Dad: *gives me a strange look* “Sweetheart, what do you think I’m talking about?”

(I look up at him, confused, and make a cigarette-smoking motion.)

Dad: *laughs* “No.”

(Even more confused, I make a joint-smoking motion.)

Dad: “Noooo!”

(Now very confused, I make a vaping motion.)

Dad: “[My Name]!”

Me: “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Dad: “I meant a grill smoker. Like for turkeys!”

Me: “Ohhhhh… Yes, [Father-In-Law] has one.”