Getting Their Mumble In A Jumble

, , , , | Right | April 30, 2020

Patient: “I need to cancel my appointment.”

Me: “Okay, what is your date of birth?”

The patient mumbles.

Me: “That was January 1st?”

Patient: “No.”

I wait for more, but they remain silent.

Me: “Okay, would you repeat that? I couldn’t make that out.”

The patient sighs and rapidly repeats their date of birth.

Me: “I still can’t make out what you’re saying. Would you say it again please, but slower?”

Patient: “I told you twice already.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and I couldn’t understand either time. Can you repeat it again?”

Patient: “Just cancel me already.”

I think, “I’m trying to!”

Me: “Okay, what is your name?”

Patient: “Ugh, really?

The patient sighs and mumbles their name. I am getting irritated.

Me: “How do you spell your last name?”

The patient slowly and sarcastically spells their last name, which is far from common.

Me: “Okay, Ms. [Full Name]?”

Patient: “No.”

Me: “Okay. I don’t have anyone else by that name in our system.”

Patient: “Oh, my f****** God!”

The patient hangs up and instantly calls back, talking slowly and loudly.

Patient: “I need to cancel my appointment with [Doctor not in our office].”

Me: “Hello again, Ms. [Full Name]. It seems you have the wrong doctor’s office.”

Patient: “Ugh!” *Hangs up*

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