Getting The Raw Deal

(Near where I live, there is a popular Amish market. We buy their baked goods a lot. We buy a six-pack of cinnamon buns. Once we cut one, we realize they are raw inside.)

Me: “Yes, I’d like to return these, please.”

Baker: “Why?”

Me: “They’re raw on the inside.”

Baker: “But they’re already open.”

Me: “Yes, I cut one. That’s how I realized they were raw on the inside.”

Baker: “But you can’t return it. It’s open.”

Me: “I can’t eat it. It’s raw. You’re not allowed to sell it that way, either. It’s a health hazard.”

Baker: “Well, what do you want me to do?”

Me: “I’d like a refund. I can’t eat these, and I had no way of knowing they were raw when I bought them.”

Baker: “…”

Me: “Well, could you finish cooking them at least?”

Baker: “But you opened it! One’s cut!”

Me: “Yes. Now think about it. Do they look raw on the outside?”

Baker: “No…”

Me: “Excellent. Now, are they raw on the inside?”

Baker: “Yes…”

Me: “Good. Now the big one: How could I know they were raw on the inside?”

Baker: “…if you cut one and saw.”

Me: “Yes! So there’s no way I could’ve known without cutting one.”

Baker: “Oh. Well, I don’t want to give you a refund.”

Me: “Well, you do realize you’re not allowed to sell them like this? There are laws. There are health regulations. I could report this—”

Baker: “—fine! Here’s your refund!”

Me: “Thanks!”