Getting (Swim) Short With Each Other

, , , , | Friendly | February 6, 2018

(My friends and I are all hanging out on the couch when [Friend #1] comes bursting through the front door, giggling like a child.)

Friend #1: “Guys, you’ll never believe it! I just managed to sneak these out of [Clothing Store]!”

(He then pulls down his pants to show several layers of swimming trunks underneath them.)

Friend #2: “Bro, you do realize I’m one of the managers over there, right?”

Friend #1: “So you know how hard it is to steal from that place! I don’t know how I managed to get away with it.”

Friend #2: “You didn’t get away with it, idiot. Once they see a discrepancy that big, they’re going to review the tapes and see your stupid a** walking out of an empty fitting room.”

([Friend #1] goes pale as he thinks about this, then quickly strips in the middle of the living room, shoving the swimsuits into [Friend #2]’s lap.)

Friend #1: “Man, you have to take them back for me!”

Friend #2: “Hell no! I’m not getting fired over your stupid mistake. You take them back; you’re the one who messed up.”

Friend #1: “Man, why are you being such a d**k right now? If you work there, you can just take them back!”

Friend #2: “If you want me to take these back, then you obviously don’t care about my job. So, I’ll do you one better. I’ll go ahead and call the police to report theft. How’s that sound?”

(This ended in a screaming match and near fistfight between the two friends, as we all just kind of sat back and watched, dumbfounded by how stupid the situation was. Eventually, [Friend #1] decided to take the swimming trunks back himself. He fessed up to a different manager, and they said they wouldn’t press charges since he brought everything back. The boys are still friends to this day.)

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