Metallica: The Christmas Album

(It’s December 24th, and we’ve been playing nonstop Christmas carols since November 1st. The door shuts behind the last customer of the night and it’s time for us to clean up as best we can behind the hordes.)

Manager: *over the walkie* “For god’s sake, turn that…” *through suddenly clenched teeth* “…music off and put something else in!”

(It is clear that he’s using great restraint not to swear.)

Me: *in the music department* “Sorry, boss, Christmas music is all they’ve given us.”

Manager: “…Hold on.”

(It takes two minutes, but he comes to the music department and shoves a CD into my hands. He’s panting and out of breath.)

Manager: “Look, I got this out of my car. Just make sure I get it back at the end of the night! I can’t take another rendition of Jingle Bells!”

(And that’s how we all rocked out to Metallica on Christmas Eve!)