Getting Chesty About The Law

(I’m an American married to a Brazilian, and I spend several months a year in Brazil. I work at a beachside stall serving beer and snacks. A pair of American tourists are in front of me, and the woman is topless, which is strictly illegal in Brazil, but many assume otherwise.)

Man: “Hi. Two cervezas and, uh, some chips. You got chips?”

Server: *in Portuguese* “Ma’am, you can’t be topless here! The police could arrest you. You need to cover up.”

Woman: “What are you talking about? I don’t speak Spanish.”

Me: “Lady, he’s telling you that you need to cover up.”

Woman: “What? Like h*** I do. This is Brazil!”

Me: “Yeah, a Catholic country that bans public nudity. You can be arrested.”

Man: “F*** off. This is Brazil. People go topless on the beach all the time.”

Me: “Well, look around at the beach. You’re the only woman in sight without a top on.”

Woman: “Mind your d*** business.” *they walk off in a huff*

Server: “I wonder if they noticed that they’re about to walk right past three police cars?”

Me: “Probably not.”

(I stood there, sipping my beer, and watched as the woman was cited for public nudity.)

This story is part of our Brazil roundup!

Read the next Brazil roundup story!

Read the Brazil roundup!