Getting All Misto-Eyed At Their Ignorance

(I work at a coffee shop known for their tendency to take unheard of amounts of abuse from customers. Their motto is “the customer is ALWAYS right,” even when they’re very, very wrong. A serious-looking man in business attire comes in and approaches my till.)

Customer: “I’d like a grande Americano misto with no water.”

(For those who don’t know, an Americano is espresso shots and water. An Americano misto is espresso shots with half water and half steamed milk.)

Me: “Oh! I think you mean a latte. Lattes are espresso with just milk and Americano mistos are espresso with half water and half steamed milk.”

Customer: “No. Lattes only have two shots of espresso. I want an Americano misto with no water. It has three shots.”

Me: “Okay, so that would be a triple grande latte.”

Customer: “Are you deaf? I want an Americano misto with no water. Just f****** do your job and make what I ordered.”

Me: “Okay, one triple grande latte.”

Customer: “No! I’m not paying for a latte! I didn’t order a latte! This happens every time! This is why you work here, because you’re too stupid to get a real job!”

Me: “Misto means ‘mixed.’ As in water mixed with milk. You want a latte, which is just espresso and milk. I can’t charge you for an Americano because your drink is using literally double the amount of milk that would be required for an Americano misto.”

Customer: “Listen, little girl, I want three espresso shots. That makes it an Americano misto. I’m not paying for a latte.”

Me: “Actually, water would make it an Americano misto. So you can either pay for a latte or I can make you an Americano misto. With water.”

Customer: “It has three shots! IT’S NOT A F****** LATTE BECAUSE IT HAS THREE SHOTS!”

Me: “So adding an extra shot of espresso to a latte transforms it into an Americano misto?”

Customer: “F*** YOU! GIVE ME MY DRINK!”

Me: “Certainly. That’ll be $5.25 please.”

Customer: “NO! YOU’RE NOT CHARGING ME FOR A LATTE!”

Me: “Okay. I’ll charge you for an Americano misto. But I have to charge you for the extra milk. So that will be $5.25 please.”

(Obviously seeing he wasn’t going to win, he threw a gift card at my chest. It bounced off me and landed on the counter. I swiped it and handed it back, and then moved to the bar to make his drink. When it was done I placed it on the end of the bar and called out, “triple grande latte!” The man came to collect his drink, looked me square in the face, and yelled, “It’s a f****** Americano misto!”)